How to Change Small Habits Without Losing Yourself

How to Change Small Habits Without Losing Yourself - Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

We all have things in our lives we can change or improve. But there are also habits that quietly work against us, pulling us down without us even realizing. Sometimes, these habits are picked up simply because we’re influenced by the people around us. You join a group, make new friends, and before you know it, you start adopting their ambitions and goals—even if they’re the opposite of what you truly want.

It’s easy to get swept along, to let yourself be influenced, and only later realize that these habits are keeping you from reaching your own goals—the ones that actually make you happy. That’s the moment to pause and ask yourself: What really makes me happy? Am I just trying to please others, doing things just to fit in, even if they don’t bring me joy?

People-pleasing is a trap. You might find yourself helping someone or going along with something just to avoid disappointing them, even if you barely know them or don’t particularly like them. If someone is truly your friend, they’ll understand when you say no to something that doesn’t feel right. If they don’t, maybe they’re not really your friend. Some people just want to take and never give back—they’re like leeches, draining your energy and then disappearing. It’s important to spot these patterns and protect yourself.

Habits aren’t just about the people you spend time with. Your environment plays a huge role too. If you live somewhere where everyone smokes, you’ll probably find it easier to pick up smoking. If you’re surrounded by fast food, eating healthy becomes a real challenge. Take me, for example: I’m vegetarian. If I live in a place with no vegetarian options, it’s hard to eat well. The environment just isn’t set up for my needs.

You deserve better than an environment that holds you back. If your surroundings are making it hard for you to live the way you want, it’s time to recognize that and make a change. Maybe you’re stuck in a routine that doesn’t serve you—going to bed late, waking up late, even though you know it doesn’t make you happy. Or maybe your apartment barely gets any sunlight, making it tough to wake up feeling refreshed. Natural light is the best alarm clock, and if you don’t have it, there are sunrise simulators that can help.

How to Change Small Habits Without Losing Yourself - Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Right now, I’m in Elizabeth Bay, a lovely suburb in Sydney. It’s full of cafes and has a beautiful bay where you can swim in summer—though you have to watch out for sharks and jellyfish! The weather impacts my mood too. On gray, rainy days, it’s harder to feel upbeat. Some people have the luxury of moving to a sunnier place when they need a boost. For example, I could go to Cairns in Queensland, where it’s warm and sunny even in winter, or head to Europe for summer. Your environment matters more than you think.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
—Jim Rohn

Surround yourself with people who share your values and ambitions. It makes reaching your goals so much easier. If your environment is always holding you back, you’ll have to work twice as hard, and it’ll take longer to get where you want to go. Sure, some people succeed in tough situations, but it often comes at the cost of their health and happiness. Life isn’t just about grinding all the time. There should be moments of well-being and relaxation, too.

If you can put yourself in an environment that lifts you up, you won’t have to fight so hard to succeed. That’s the real trick: find the right surroundings and the right people, and everything becomes simpler.

You can also use content to boost your motivation. Listen to audiobooks, watch inspiring talks, read biographies—these things can lift you up and remind you of what’s possible. I love checking out the #buildinpublic hashtag on Twitter. Seeing what others are building motivates me to keep going. But be careful not to fall into the trap of just consuming content and never taking action. It’s easy to spend hours watching videos or reading tweets and end up doing nothing.

Let content inspire you, then close the app and get moving. Use that spark to trigger the right mood and take action. The same goes for your environment—set yourself up for success, and things will flow much more easily.

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
—Chinese Proverb

How to Change Small Habits Without Losing Yourself - Photo by Alex Hudson on Unsplash

Key Takeaways

• Notice which habits and environments are holding you back.
• Surround yourself with people and places that support your goals.
• Don’t just consume inspiring content—let it push you to act.
• Remember: You deserve an environment that helps you grow.

Action Steps

• Take a moment to reflect on your daily habits and surroundings.
• Identify one thing you can change this week to support your happiness.
• Say no to people-pleasing and yes to your own well-being.
• Use inspiring content as a trigger to take real steps forward.

Reflection

• Are your habits and environment helping or hurting your progress?
• Who are the five people you spend the most time with?
• What’s one small change you can make today to move closer to your goals?