How I Built a Life That Truly Fits Me—And Why It Matters

Living Authentically

How I Built a Life That Truly Fits Me—And Why It Matters

From Manchester to Wellington and beyond, learning to trust my intuition and focus on what matters most has shaped a life that reflects who I am, not others

The Art of Building a Life That’s Truly Yours

Have you ever felt like you’re living a life that doesn’t quite fit—a routine shaped by outside expectations rather than your own desires? I know that tension well: the gap between what others expect and what genuinely excites you.

What I’ve learned is this: you only start living fully when you build a life that reflects who you are, not who others want you to be.

Listening to Your Own Needs

Everyone has unique desires and needs. Yet it’s easy to ignore what truly matters—our pleasures, ambitions, and the challenges that make us proud. Whether you’re an engineer, pharmacist, doctor, writer, content creator, or coach, fulfillment comes from pursuing what resonates with you, not from following someone else’s checklist.

For me, this meant accepting that my interests would evolve. Over ten years ago, I lived in Manchester (and briefly London), developing PH7 CMS—a content management system that started as a paid product and became fully open source. I managed social networking and dating sites, always seeking projects that matched my curiosity at the time.

But life kept moving. I relocated to Dublin to work for Ireland’s leading real estate classifieds site—a bit like the French Le Bon Coin. That role suited me for a while, but after three years, I felt the urge to change again. I moved to Wellington, New Zealand’s capital, a city I loved for its energy and scale. Later, I lived in Singapore, Australia, Canada, South Korea, and Thailand—each place offering new opportunities to listen to my inner voice and adapt.

Trusting Your Gut and Iterating Forward

Every step of my journey has been guided by intuition—my “gut feeling.” Right now, I’m developing a nutrition app called Mnap. I built it for myself first, to scan and track the foods I eat. Being your own first user—“dogfooding”—is essential. When you create for yourself, your work stays meaningful and authentic.

Progress isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about small, consistent actions. Every day, I spend a bit of time improving Mnap. Over time, these efforts compound: version one becomes version two, then three, then ten. The same applies to writing a book—word by word, the pages fill. Or to any big goal—step by step, you move closer to your destination.

Even in daily routines, I listen to myself. My afternoon break is sacred: a cup of tea, a banana, an energy ball, and some apple juice. I ask, “What do I want to eat? What feels right for me?” Choosing food that aligns with my values helps me avoid guilt and stay true to my long-term vision.

Focusing on What Matters

Opportunities are everywhere. Each day brings countless chances to try something new, to challenge yourself, to grow. But with so many possibilities, it’s easy to get scattered—especially if, like me, you’re brimming with ideas.

The key is focus. Instead of launching a dozen projects at once, I ask: how can I adapt this new idea to my current project? If I’m running a SaaS for freelancers and think of a new subscription model or upsell, I look for ways to integrate it into what I’m already building. This keeps my energy concentrated and prevents me from spreading myself too thin.

When you focus on deepening one project, you make real progress. You avoid the trap of shallow work—dabbling in many things but mastering none. The secret is to continually ask: why am I doing this? How can I improve? What’s the next step to become the best version of myself?

Becoming the Pilot of Your Own Life

The goal is to design a life that fits you—a custom-made existence where you’re the pilot, not a passenger. If you don’t take charge, you risk living out someone else’s script and regretting lost time. Time, after all, is life.

Invest in yourself. Find projects that challenge you and help you grow your knowledge and skills. As you iterate and improve, you’ll develop expertise that’s rare and valuable—something others will seek out.

Even the mundane can teach you about focus. My laptop battery, for example, acts as a timer. When it runs out, my workday ends. I don’t bring the charger; instead, I use the constraint to stay on task and avoid distractions. It’s a small trick, but it keeps me grounded in what matters most.

The Power of Essentialism

Living fully isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing what matters. I try to apply the principle of the Minimum Viable Product (MVP) to my life: aim for maximum impact with minimum effort. Focus on the essentials, and your days become more meaningful and your progress more tangible.

Building a life that’s truly yours transforms everything. It’s not about perfection, but about authenticity and growth. My wish for you is simple: act, challenge yourself, and create the life you dream of. Be the actor, not the spectator, in your own story.